Christmas is upon us and there really is no escaping it. From the relentless Christmas adverts to festive themed biscuits at the bakery, we are bombarded with images and items which place an unrealistic emphasis on idealistic relationships and happy families, all seemingly enjoying the season together. For those who have happy families, Christmas can be a wonderful time of the year but for many, Christmas is the agonising anthesis of this. For all the happiness that the season brings, Christmas can magnify negative aspects of our lives too. It is a time when loneliness is experienced more deeply for a multitude of reasons. The pain of lost loved ones and the dejection of not having a significant other becomes amplified and difficult to deal with because at this time of year, the importance of these relationships is highlighted everywhere you go.

Media portrayals of the idealistic, family focussed, harmonious season, place additional stresses on us all to enjoy the festive period with loved ones, but the reality is that not everyone has this luxury. The pressure for everything to be just-so, leaves people feeling as though their lives are inadequate if they can’t conform to this picture-perfect image of Christmas that is ingrained into our minds. Social media is full of posts of people enjoying work parties or nights out with friends, fuelling this idea that everyone else around us is surrounded by the perfect family with a large social group. This only adds weight to the idea that our lives don’t live up to what we see online. We know that social media is just the highlights reel of someone’s life but when you are feeling low or insecure, viewing these images just compounds that feeling of loneliness and isolation that you might be experiencing.

Here are some ideas that can help you to overcome feelings of loneliness at Christmas.

Consider doing some volunteering. There are many services that require additional help, especially at Christmas time, such as homeless shelters or soup kitchens. Sadly, there are many people living on the streets who have absolutely no-one and nowhere to go at Christmas. Volunteering gives you a purpose, something positive to do and it can help to reduce feelings of depression.
Remove yourself from social media for a while. Viewing the specially curated lives of others posted on social media will only add to your own feelings of inadequacy. It is only natural to compare how you feel to how others portray themselves through the filtered lens of the online world, but it doesn’t help you to do this when you are feeling down. Social media is fine when you are feeling positive and comfortable about yourself and your life. It is undoubtedly unhealthy to participate if you are feeling psychologically unwell.
Reach out to friends and family. It is very easy when you are in a state of low mood or depression to feel that you are totally alone and that no-one wants to hear from you but quite often the opposite is true. Try reaching out to people whom you are close to, you might be surprised at the response. You never know, your friends and family might be feeling as lonely as you are and you could end up supporting each other.
Plan your goals for 2020. Putting together a list of goals for the upcoming year can be incredibly cathartic. It allows you to focus on a productive and positive year to come and helps to prevent your mind from ruminating about the things that are missing in your life right now. Instead, setting goals can help you to focus on what you could have in your life in the future.
Write a list every evening of five things that you are happy about from that day. Practising gratitude enables you to really appreciate the positive aspects of your life. Your list doesn’t have to be full of world changing accomplishments, it’s the small things that matter. When times are difficult, focus on the small wins each day, it will help you to feel good about yourself.
Talk to someone about how you are feeling. Talking is the greatest healer in my opinion. Call a friend and tell them how you are feeling or call a helpline who are there to listen. If you aren’t great with words, you don’t need to go into detail, just be honest that you’re feeling lonely at the moment, this is enough to start engaging in contact.
Allow yourself to indulge in something that makes you feel good. Whether that’s going for a long walk, enjoying time at a spa, buying something in the Christmas sales or eating the foods that you enjoy, let yourself enjoy that at this time of year. Of course, when I say this, I mean within reason, be sensible with your choices.

Photo by Elitsa Deykova/iStock / Getty Images

Christmas is a difficult time for many people for very different reasons. People tend to think that they are the only ones feeling this way, but the truth is that you are certainly not alone. Once you can start to accept that Christmas is a challenging time, then that will actually help to make it less challenging in the future. Being aware of how events impact us means that next year you can put plans in place in an attempt to alleviate any distress that accompanies this time of year for you.

If you feel low or at risk of harming yourself, call the Samaritans on 116 123. They are a fantastic service and can offer you instant support if you feel that you need it during this festive period.