Confidence rarely goes away overnight. It usually fades gradually through daily behaviors and thoughts. Many people believe their confidence is a product of their personality or just plain luck, when in fact it is an accumulation of the decisions we make on a daily basis. Fortunately for all of us, many of our confidence killers can be avoided if we simply recognize what they are.

Constant Comparison

One of the quickest ways to destroy your self-confidence is by comparing your life to everyone else’s. Because social media has become such a large part of our lives, it also creates a space for people to easily compare themselves to others. When using social media, most often people post the best parts of their day, or highlight certain things they are doing, but rarely do they share about the regular, everyday aspects of their lives. It can be easy to lose sight of this fact as we scroll through our feeds.

To avoid being completely removed from what other people are doing in their lives, simply turn the comparisons around. Rather than focusing on how well or poorly someone else is doing, focus on your own personal growth. Take notice of the new skills you’ve developed over the past year. Confidence comes from knowing where you are headed.

Waiting For Perfect Conditions

Thinking you have to "feel" prepared before taking any action is equally problematic. Many people think they need to wait until the perfect moment to take an action, develop all the necessary skills, etc. The truth is that the perfect moment rarely presents itself.

You build confidence after you've taken an action, not before. Sometimes just trying to do something a little bit outside your comfort zone will give you the momentum needed to continue. With each small step, you'll find out how much more capable you are than you ever thought possible.

Negative Inner Commentary

Your internal dialogue is so influential. When there is an ongoing internal questioning about your capabilities, your self-confidence will likely be challenged. Oftentimes, when you criticize yourself harshly, it seems rational; however, most often the critical nature of your self-criticism overstates your mistakes while ignoring your accomplishments.

Reversing this type of internal commentary could completely alter your perspective on things. Internally talking to yourself in as calm and reasonable a manner as you would talk to a friend helps create a much better environment in which to approach challenges. The tone of your internal dialogue will set the tone for how you take on challenges.

Ignoring Your Personal Identity

Comfort is built in an environment where individuals feel safe to express themselves. When a person consistently keeps their interests, likes, dislikes, etc. hidden from view so as to be accepted by others, a level of separation can develop. Your personal expression can also play a part in this. While clothing may appear to be superficial at first glance, it can contribute to your mindset when you have a sense of alignment with what you are presenting to the world.

For example, even making simple decisions such as trying out some new styles from Laundry b can help increase your self-assurance because the way you see yourself, on the outside, will begin to align with how you see yourself internally. Confidence is a dynamic quality that can be improved by how we think about our experiences, what we do in those experiences, and where we are in those experiences. The small changes you make will lead to significant growth more quickly than many people realise.